10 things I am scared off in 2019
This is one article out of a series of prompts from the Edison and Wordsmith deck from Best self to make my writing more personal. This is one of the blogs i felt most uncomfortable publishing, but here it is.
Losing my job
This one probably makes the top of the list for many, even though it is a bit silly. I lost my job once and it turned out not as bad as I thought. Still, if I lost my job now it would be problematic as the kids are not out of college yet and we have big plans for the future. If you are the main earner of the household you will be faced with this fear. Only thing I can say writing this down is that you will recover if you keep fighting.
The dogs dying
We have a little bulldog called cupcake. She is adorable but often when I look at her I m know that it is more than likely that I will outlive her. I am dreading the day she and Maisy will pass. Not the nicest thing to think of, but it is inevitable.
My wife getting sick
My wife is my purpose and is one of the main reasons I get up in the morning. She is my best friend and companion. She always has my back and helps my through tough times. She also makes a god damn good breakfast. She always had little problems with her health which we work around. But if she get majorly sick that would be very hard for me and change my life very substantially.
My children not living to their full potential
Well technically they are my stepchildren. One thing that i am afraid of is that i haven’t done enough to open them every door i possibly can. Completely up to them where their love takes them. I just always said that I don’t want to be the limiting factor to their dreams and ambitions and hope that I did right by them so far.
Especially when I watch the news and developments all over the planet I get worried about a next major war. It gets troubling when people start to emphasize what sets them apart rather than what they have in common. Separation and extremes are happening all over the world. This might also be a reason why I am staying away from the news. Maybe you should do the same.
I just hate bills and I am scared off them. This was especially bad when we went to live in Germany. The German authorities are tenacious on following up on their paperwork. That is why I prefer to live in Germany.
Buying a house
To fulfill our live dreams we would like to buy a house by the seaside. The process is terrifying. We will manage and get the nicest place we can possibly imagine. However, it will be hard until we get there.
Breaking my back
This is what I am most scared about when it comes to my training. I love powerlifting and moving big weights. There is just something primal and satisfying about it. With that comes the risk of breaking your lower back. I had two injuries already which lit me out for a month.
I was lonely for along time before I met my wife. If I had to go back to that it would be very hard. I am not particular good at making friends.
Doing too little
I am a workaholic. I openly admit that. Most of my work is aimed at making the life of others better. With that often comes the feeling that I am not doing enough to help everyone.